Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Greg's avatar

I appreciate this piece immensely. I’ve had similar nagging feelings during the pandemic. The “aversion to self reflection” line is so spot on. I did every manual labor job under the sun to pay for college. I have a white collar job now and I worry about the disconnect I feel growing with friends who still have blue collar jobs or are cops. The emphasis is always on tough talk and often entails diminishing the accomplishments of people who aren’t straight white dudes because they’re protected or uplifted. Joking about the kicker for Vanderbilt who played in a D-1 college game for instance. The older I get the more I think true masculinity is just doing your job and trying to be the most honorable and compassionate version of yourself.

Expand full comment
Justin Wolske's avatar

This piece makes me feel seen! I've spent 20 years on MMA mats, back when it was called Vale Tudo and we all wore sweat pants, and if I look at the masculine heroes I've had through my youth, it has always been some version of the "Warrior Scholar," from my first MMA coach to Bruce Lee to Henry Rollins. I've always appreciated the discipline and self-mastery; it's something I've aspired to.

These guys have always been outsiders, but something has changed. The paranoia, the conspiracies, this tactical readiness silliness... I remember sitting on a mat with Eddie Bravo and a bunch of high-level fighters talking about some deep-state, absurd conspiracy and I'm like, "What am I doing here?" It's sad to me, because so many of these guys are so solid, help-you-move-with-their-truck solid, and it's refreshing to have conversations not reflexively filtered through the woke-identarian lens as happens so much in my life. Maybe I'm just getting more sensitive to it, but it's not as fun to shadowbox alone in the park, as I do these days...

I'm a bit older than the normal cohort, but I sense this frustration in them, as if they're aching for some life test, some Rubicon to pass, but the only thing there is to do is roll, cash the unemployment check, and wear a mask to the grocery store.

Thanks for writing this.

Expand full comment
69 more comments...

No posts